How a Child's Medical Crisis Reshapes Friendship

In a personal essay published on Vogue, the author recounts how her daughter Rose's sudden illness transformed her friendships. The crisis began with seizure-like movements, leading to a diagnosis of PANS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome), where the immune system attacks the basal ganglia. The author describes the support from friends like Leucas, who flew from L.A. to Toronto to help, and Jane, who sent meals, while others withdrew. She reflects on the difficulty of sharing her family's ordeal and the new bonds formed with other PANS parents and advocates. The essay highlights the challenges of navigating friendship during prolonged crisis and the systemic issues in PANS treatment, including delayed diagnoses and insurance denials. The author, who has always valued friendships, now finds her life consumed by her daughter's care, leaving little room for others. She notes that Rose has been sick for a year, no longer attends school, and hasn't seen friends since September 2025. The piece explores the emotional toll and the hope for recovery, ending with a wish to return to carefree moments with friends, which would signify her daughter's improvement.