Reflections on Hope and Waiting Across a Lifetime

The article is a personal essay reflecting on the concept of hope and waiting throughout different stages of life. It begins by noting that July 12 is World Hope Day, describing hope as an anchor and lifeline in dark times. The author traces the etymology of "esperanza" (hope) from Latin "sperantia" and "sperare," meaning to wait with confidence. The essay then chronologically explores how the experience of waiting evolves from childhood to adulthood. As a child, waiting was boring but bearable due to unbreakable illusions—waiting for Three Kings' Day, to be chosen for a team, or for a parent to pick him up. In adolescence, waiting became more painful and gray: waiting to be noticed in hallways, for a Valentine's gift, for a kiss, for the chest pain to subside. In his twenties and thirties, waiting turned terrifying, often preceding encounters with new versions of himself—waiting for exam results, a job, to learn how to kiss, for parents to understand him, for nights to never end. In his forties, waiting becomes infused with necessary relativization; he has waited for medical results, therapy answers, to overcome his father's death, to afford housing, to make ends meet, to speak his truths, to not break while losing people, to not age alone. The essay concludes that waiting is increasingly decisive but made bearable by hope—the belief that he will be okay no matter what. The only thing left is to keep hoping.