Freitag Commentary Satirizes Media Panic Over Die Linke's Berlin Election Victory

A satirical commentary published by the German weekly Freitag, authored by Ingar Solty, mocks the apocalyptic rhetoric used by media and politicians after the Left Party's (Die Linke) election victory in Berlin. The piece invokes the specter of an "Elif-Eralp-Kalifat" — a reference to Berlin's Left politician Elif Eralp — predicting bread lines, mandatory burkas, and starvation deaths in the capital. To illustrate the supposed absurdity of such fears, the author points to Thuringia, where a "far-left alliance" allegedly led to catastrophe. According to the text, the last Thuringian Rostbratwurst was grilled on December 23, 2014, at the Erfurt Christmas market — three weeks after the Socialists took power and Bodo Ramelow, known as "the Red," was appointed Minister-President. Soon, the article claims, not only were the last supplies from the era of "blooming landscapes" exhausted, but the sixteenth federal state ceased to exist. The author recalls that conservative Cassandras had warned that if the Reds seized Germany's green heart, it would mean the downfall of the Free State, invoking phrases such as "rollback of history," "fall from grace for German democracy," "relegitimization of SED injustice," and "old ghosts." The full text appears in the current issue of Freitag. The commentary is a political opinion piece rather than an art-world news item, and its satirical framing targets contemporary German media coverage of left-wing electoral success.