David Sedaris on Duolingo Obsession and AI Chatbot Lily

David Sedaris recounts his addiction to the language-learning app Duolingo, which he uses to maintain his top ranking in the Diamond League by earning up to 23,000 points per week. He combines this with walking 10 miles daily, reading sentences aloud in Japanese, German, Spanish, and French. Sedaris describes the app's competitive aspect and the introduction of Duolingo Max, which features role-playing exercises and video calls with Lily, a sarcastic AI teenager. He tests Lily's limits with absurd scenarios, such as claiming a doctor cut out his tongue with a chainsaw or that his dead father accompanies him to the movies. Sedaris also shares anecdotes from a family vacation at the Sea Section in Emerald Isle, North Carolina, including a tick encounter, a traffic jam, and his brother Paul's fake vomiting. He reflects on the AI's evolving memory and his own discomfort when Lily begins to retain personal details and show moral judgment. The piece is adapted from Sedaris's memoir "The Land and Its People."