Parenting as Performance: The Art of Creating Unremembered Moments

A parent describes an elaborate ritual of crafting aesthetically pleasing lunchboxes for their nine-month-old daughter, despite the baby's inability to recall these moments. The child, bottle-fed and jealous of other kids eating solids, receives lunches packed three days a week with creatively shaped vegetables like skull-and-crossbones carrots and Star of David cucumbers, all unsalted. This pursuit extends beyond meals to outings, such as visits to Sea Life and the Imperial War Museum in London, and a recent trip to France where beach toys were chosen over traditional buckets and spades. The parent reflects on the futility of choreographing childhood memories, noting that trauma is more likely to be remembered than pleasure, and acknowledges their role in providing stability amidst life's inevitable challenges. The column, published in Vogue, explores the tension between parental control and the incidental nature of memory formation.