Mother's Handmade Clothes Gave Trans Child Gender Euphoria

Benny Peterson reflects on how her mother sewing her an olive and tan outfit at age five gave her a powerful sense of gender euphoria, decades before she came out as trans. In 1986, before the language of transness existed, her mother's gesture of making clothes—camouflage-colored shorts and a top—allowed Peterson to feel like a boy, climb trees, and experience freedom. The essay, part of Vogue's "Hand Me Downs" series for Mother's Day, describes Peterson's childhood gender nonconformity, including drawing herself as a boy and selecting a boy doll in therapy. She later suppressed her identity, living as a woman until transitioning nearly 40 years later. Looking back at childhood photos, she sees the child she lost—fierce and free—and appreciates her parents' instinctive support through actions, even without words. Peterson is the author of "The Maidenheads."