Jonathan Grossmalerman's Satirical Lament on Exclusion from ArtReview Power 100

In a satirical opinion piece from December 2013, artist Jonathan Grossmalerman humorously laments his removal from the ArtReview Power 100 list, claiming oversight initially but later learning from editor Mark Rappolt's mother that he was deemed insufficiently powerful. He defends his past influence by referencing an event where he organized a coalition to destroy Muammar Gaddafi's art collection to prevent market flooding, asserting he saved contemporary art. Grossmalerman admits to personal missteps, including a failed attempt to become President Obama's art czar and a current painting crisis, with his market slowing due to large-scale vaginal paintings losing appeal. He questions the list's composition, noting figures like Marc Spiegler (ranked 16), François Pinault (19), and Anne Pasternak (47), while expressing contentment with Sheikha Al-Mayassa bint Hamad bin Khalifa Al-Thani as number one due to her ownership of 3,256 of his works. He suggests expanding the list to 250 entries to include himself, highlighting his desire for recognition despite residing in New York and questioning the power of those outside the city. The piece critiques art world rankings with ironic self-deprecation.