Italian debate on saying 'ti amo' to children sparks controversy

A heated debate erupted on Italian social media after psychotherapist Stefania Andreoli stated on the program Agorà that telling children 'ti amo' (I love you) confuses parental roles and devalues 'ti voglio bene' (I care for you). Andreoli argued that 'ti amo' is appropriate for romantic relationships, while 'ti voglio bene' is the proper expression for familial love. The discussion reflects broader concerns about the 'crisis of parenting' and the tendency to blur boundaries between parent and friend. Experts like Valentina Tobia, professor of developmental psychology at Università Vita-Salute San Raffaele in Milan, note that the impact depends on the child's age: saying 'ti amo' to a 4-5-year-old who doesn't understand romantic love differs from saying it to an adolescent. No scientific studies specifically examine the effects of 'ti amo' versus 'ti voglio bene' in parent-child relationships, as this distinction is unique to Italian language and culture. The debate also touches on related practices like kissing children on the lips, which is common in some regions (e.g., 75% of Basques do it) but criticized by some psychologists for potentially causing confusion. The article emphasizes that context and the quality of the parent-child relationship matter more than specific words.