Gallery Girl's satirical wishlist links Glasgow fire, London Russian Art Week, Whitstable and Berlin biennials

A fire at Glasgow Art School, attributed to a filmmaker opposing Scottish independence, was extinguished with help from figures including Kenny Dalglish and Alex Salmond. During Russian Art Week in London, Prince Charles compared Vladimir Putin to Hitler, a comment criticized for overlooking Putin's role in creating oligarchs who boosted London's art market. The Whitstable Biennale opened on 31 May at the Horsebridge Art Centre, featuring Mark Aerial Waller's video art curation, while local UKIP voters in Kent were humorously predicted to riot over 'continental theory'. The Berlin Biennale partly occurs at Museum Dahlem, an ethnographic museum, where Gallery Girl plans to liberate looted Benin artefacts using a hammer from B&Q. These artefacts would be smuggled in Maison Martin Margiela backpacks to the Brussels Non-European Art Fair (BRUNEAF), opening 4 June, with galleries named 'Classic Primitives' and 'Congo Gallery'. Gallery Girl's wishlist includes Elton John's 1983 album 'Too Low for Zero', Arianna Huffington's book 'Thrive', and a Burberry Trafalgar umbrella for travel to Whitstable.